Looking - by Prasad

I have spent most my life just looking..
Looking for something as time passes by.
And now when I look back and search for what I have found,
I smile at myself and feel like a fool,
Floating a balloon high in the sky.

As a child I looked for care, as a teen for inspiration,
As a young man I looked for love, nothing seemed to matter.
And then I looked for money, sure that love would come by,
And now I am still looking not sure of what I have found,
Empty pocket, empty heart, mad as a hatter.

I kept looking not know what I really wanted,
I kept looking everywhere, hoping to find it at last.
I was not even sure what I would have done if I found it,
But looking seemed to be the only thing keep me going,
In this beautiful world, both present and past.

And one day it finally dawned to me, I was going about it wrong,
It was looking that made the journey interesting and fun.
It was looking that brought me all those smiles more precious than any treasure,
It was looking that brought me so much more knowledge,
I just had to take all in and not run.

A journey of life

I was a child and free of my worries,

Holding the hand of anyone that showed me love.

Breezing through life smiling and laughing,

Dreaming of touching the sky like a beautiful dove.

I was a teen and still growing up,

Learning with every mistake that I made.

Hoping you would be there when I mess up,

Raring to forge ahead, with excitement I need.

Did not chose my family, but did choose my mates,

The most amazing thing in this world.

Helping me reach and touch the stars above,

Drawing support and love that my friends unfurled.

The stars seemed to shine brighter even on a cloudy night,

Seeing you smile surrounded by stars, oh! what a sight.

I wanted to hold you in my arms, caressed in evening light,

And your head on my shoulders it felt perfect, just right.

As I looked into your eyes, I knew for sure,

I wanted to spend every breath together.

Wrapped in the blanket of love, my heart beats for you,

Shouting to the world, “You are mine, my only treasure”.

But love seemed like a mirage, I spent chasing after,

Every time I came closer, it seemed so far away.

The battle of head and heart seems to go on forever,

Holding my broken heart, even my head planned to betray.

Facing the world as I fight to prove I love you,

Judging eyes and with words no more.

I stand feeling nothing, awaiting the verdict,

Being damned and shaken to the core.

Still fighting and Feeling free, breaking shackles,

With hope in my heart and my mind.

I seek out the road looking back at what I wrong,

Seeking forgiveness and love that I may find.